Deadpool’s Chaotic, Fourth-Wall-Breaking Thoughts Before a Fight
Fighting. It’s what I do best. Well, that and looking absolutely stunning in red. But before every glorious battle, there’s that brief moment—the calm before the storm—where I get to enjoy a little quality time with my own thoughts. It’s a beautiful, chaotic mess in here, folks. Buckle up, because you’re about to experience Deadpool’s inner monologue in all its unfiltered, fourth-wall-breaking glory.
Ah, another day, another brawl. You’d think by now people would have learned that messing with me is a bad idea, but nooo. Here we are. Again.
Alright, let’s take stock of the situation. One, two, three, four… wow, that’s a lot of angry dudes with guns. And swords. And—oof, is that a bazooka? I love bazookas. Maybe I can take it from him. Would that be rude? Probably. Do I care? Nope!
Okay, focus. Game plan. Should I go in with the classic slow-motion entrance? Nah, overdone. Maybe something theatrical? A monologue, perhaps? Oh, wait—I’m already in a monologue! In my head, sure, but still! Meta-monologue? Monologue-ception? Someone call Christopher Nolan!
Now, back to the murder party. Let’s go through my usual checklist:
- Swords sharpened? Check.
- Guns loaded? Double check.
- Chimichanga waiting for me after this fight? Tragically, no. Motivation slightly lowered.
Time to say something badass before the carnage begins. What’s a good one-liner? “You guys ever wonder what it feels like to be a side character in my story?” Too mean? Nah, they’re nameless goons.
Oh! Maybe I should mess with the readers a bit. Yes, you. The one reading this. Hi! Are you enjoying yourself? Are you impressed with my flawless inner monologue formatting?
Alright, let’s get to it. Time to go full Deadpool mode: flip over that guy, slice through that dude, dodge that bullet like a pro—oh wait, never mind, that one hit me. But it’s fine! Regeneration, baby.
Oh, hey, one of these guys is still alive. That’s awkward.
“Any last words?” he asks, trembling.
I nod sagely. “Yeah… can you hold this for me?” (Hands him a grenade pin.)
Boom. Another victory. Another mess. Another disappointed janitor.
Now, where’s my chimichanga?
Also Read: Jack Sparrow’s Inner Monologue While Bluffing His Way Out of Trouble
—Silviya.Y
