Lily Allen Bares It All In ‘The Recovery’ Podcast

English singer, Lily Allen is shelling out goals by showing us how she is growing past the dark phase of her life and career.

The ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ singer graced The Recovery Podcast hosted by DJ Fat Tony, with her presence on January 13th. Lily exuded confidence and vulnerability on the show as she talked about her battle with addiction. The singer’s battle with addiction has been years-long one that started during her school years as she became “co-dependent” on alcohol.

The Battle: A Long One

Lily Allen explained, talking about her music career she started right after she dropped out of school. She said, “All I wanted was affirmation and praise and I didn’t even really get it then. I got it from strangers, but I didn’t really get it from the people I wanted it from. In fact, I was kind of met with a bit of resentment from those people. Taking responsibility for my own actions, you know, I definitely like buried my head in drugs and alcohol, but I was really sad.”

The singer reckoned how she struggled to be comfortable in her own skin. Lily explained how she felt “worthless” that led her to turn to Adderall. “I was 14-stone [196 lbs.] and just did not feel like a pop star at all. So, I started taking this drug called Adderall, which is like speed, to lose weight. And then I got addicted to this drug because it made me invincible and I could work really long hours and be all the different people that I was required to be at the time.”, Allen said.

Lily hit a major low in 2014 when she joined Miley Cyrus for the Bangerz tour. Allen explained how it was hard on her mental health. “It was a very highly sexualized tour and I had just spent the last three years pushing babies out, It couldn’t have been less what I felt like. And also, I’d never ever supported someone. So, I was sort of like re-entering this phase of being a pop star again but not doing it on my terms anymore. I was supporting this girl who was much younger and more attractive than I felt and I just started out in [many] ways.”

Spiralling Further Downwards

From then on, Allen spiralled downwards like never before. The singer explained, ‘None of this acting out is working anymore. Maybe I should try heroin,’ I’d been in a scene… and knew that when that thought popped into my head it was time to confront my demons. That was about five years ago. And I started recovery.” She even resorted to cheating on her then-husband Sam Cooper who shares their two daughters, Ethel, 9-years old and Marnie, 8-years old.

This downward spiral seemed to get better after Allen claimed she “got clean”, thanks to a program that she completed for sobriety. But six months later, the singer took to drinking again, only this time, it led to a loss that was huge. “I lost my marriage. I lost my house I worked for 10 years to buy. My career started sinking. I lost all my friends. I was so resentful. So angry all the time. Really felt like the world owed me stuff,” she said. “That went on for another four years.”, she shared.

All’s Well That Ends Well

But, Allen is not a quitter and we know that now as the singer is sober again and she is focused on developing a healthy relationship with her kids. “I’m in the process of breaking that cycle. I felt so guilty about neglecting my kids in those early years of their life and having to go off on tour and misbehave in the way that I was.

Allen continued, “I really have a great relationship with my kids now, I’m there to pick them up at the school gates whenever I can be. I’m dropping them off in the morning, and I’ll make them dinner, and they’ll come to me when they’ve got problems, and that’s golden to me.”

Allen now has a healthy home and relationship with her now-husband, David Harbour. The two married last year and the singer gush about how it has added to her happier new lifestyle.

Allen says, “I’m in a really happy and healthy relationship. He’s sober, has been sober for 20 years now, We’re thinking about what we’re going to do with the rest of our lives… I don’t have as much as I had then in terms of success and wealth, but I have success and health in my mind, which is more valuable I think.”

By: Aatira Kakroo